Category Archives: 16 Days

by | December 10, 2012 · 9:00 am

16 days of activism: what can we do?

Gender violence can affect anyone, and does affect whole communities. Please help us to end it.

Gender violence can affect anyone, and does affect whole communities. Please help us to end it.

Joy works full time in CAFOD’s London office, and believes passionately in facing and ending gender violence. Her name has been changed to protect her family and friends. Reading the stories and watching the videos from AVEGA east this year, I’ve been so moved by both the honesty and the incredible strength of women who have suffered sexual violence. But I have to say, the account that moved me most was Eileen, who talked about the young woman who approached her in the middle of London, in an art gallery, to talk about her experiences.

Please act now to end gender based violence>

Sexual and gender based violence is not something that happens elsewhere, to other people. One in three women worldwide will experience it in their lifetime. But what does that mean? It means if you think of all the women you know, chances are one of them will have experienced some form of sexual violence. It could happen to your sister. It could happen to your best friend. It could happen to you.

It happened to me.

A few years ago I found myself in a violent relationship. I was a bright, intelligent, loving young woman. I studied at one of the best universities, I had (and still have) a supportive and loving family and lots of friends.I was someone who opened her heart (and home) to someone who took advantage of those things. After a while, I found myself doing and saying things I would never have seen myself doing. I became secretive. I started cutting off my family and friends, because I was ashamed of what was happening. I thought it was my fault. I find it hard to recognise myself, looking back on that time. I lost my confidence, I became clinically depressed, something which I still deal with now. It has taken a lot of therapy, prayer, and a very understanding and supportive husband, family and friends, to put things back together.

Please give so that CAFOD can help survivors of gender based violence>

I thankfully managed to get away from that relationship (if you can call it that) and rebuild my life. It wasn’t easy, and even though I’m now married to a very wonderful, kind, supportive man, my past can still come back and haunt us sometimes.

Why am I telling you this? Because I want you to know that sexual violence is something that happens, every day, in every country in the world. It doesn’t just happen to poor women, or uneducated women, or isolated women, or women who live overseas. It happens to any women, any time.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a man hater. As I said, I have an incredible husband. I have wonderful brothers and my dad was an absolute hero. I have lots of friends, male and female who treat everyone with the respect they’re entitled to as human beings. There is a lot of good in the world, and I truly believe that most people are decent and good.

But we can’t let that blind us to people’s suffering. We can’t let the fact that it’s easier to turn a blind eye stop us from seeing the people who have experienced this terrible violence, either at the hands of strangers, or even worse, from family members, friends or partners.

Please pray for people who experience sexual and gender based violence>

Sexual violence is a particularly pernicious form of violence, because it violates the most private and sacred thing about you. It undermines everything you thought you knew about yourself. My abuse didn’t happen in a forest or a war zone. It wasn’t at the hands of a stranger. But my heart goes out to those women Avega East helps, because I understand a little of what it takes to rebuild yourself from the inside out, to re-evaluate everything you thought you knew about yourself, because in one fell swoop somebody took that from you. I’m praying, from the bottom of my soul for every person, woman, man or child, who has suffered this terrible abuse – at any level.

I’m asking you to join me in making sure 16 days of activism doesn’t just last for 16 days. I’m asking you to join me in giving, acting and praying until we have eradicated this abuse in every country in the world. I’m asking you to stand with people around the world who have to find the strength to put their lives back together after everything that is precious to them has been undermined or taken away.

The donations you make to CAFOD really do enable this vital work. The evidence is there for all to see. By taking the solidarity action, you can show your support for bringing an end to gender based violence, you can make a statement that you will not keep quiet about this issue. And by praying, you can bring hope to the millions who are affected, and ask God to strengthen us as we keep fighting for a solution.

Please don’t stop now. We CAN end this.

Gender violence affects all of us. Please take action with CAFOD to end it once and for all>

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by | December 9, 2012 · 9:00 am

16 days of activism: Edna Wharton, CAFOD supporter

Edna Wharton

I became a CAFOD volunteer in the 1980s and then our parish representative. I’ve kept records since 1996 of money we’ve raised, and when I look back I’m inspired that we really can do something. We can change things together.

But it’s not just about money. We can do very little without money, but we also need to take action as well as donate. Signing petitions, going on peaceful demonstrations, lobbying your MP: all these things make a difference too. I’ve also gone into schools and talked to people in the street to raise awareness.

In the 1990s we had a new parish priest – Patrick Tansy. Fr Tansy was a supporter of CAFOD.

He talked about Rwanda at the time of the genocide. His account really moved me. He was an inspiration – he really spelt out to us in his homilies what was going on.

Gender violence affects all of us. Please help us to be there for women around the world. Give act and Pray with CAFOD>>

Verené Nyirabagwiza, genocide survivor

Verené Nyirabagwiza is a widow of the Rwandan genocide. She is helped and supported by Avega East.

How do you come back after the genocide? When you’ve lost your husband, your family, your property, your job, your business…how do you carry on?

So it seemed natural to take up this cause. I can’t believe we can hear about anyone who’s suffering or being persecuted – that we can be aware and not do anything about it. In the Bible we’re told that they are our brothers and sisters. We can’t just let it pass us by.

Not a lot happened straight away, but when Connect2 came along it seemed like the perfect opportunity for us. Many of our parishioners are older and we remember the genocide happening. We also have a lot of parishioners from overseas – many of them have seen similar things and experienced hardships in their home countries so I think we have a natural connection to this story. Our parish is now a Connect 2 Rwanda parish, so we hear quite a lot about Musha and the work of AVEGA East.

Last year Odette came to meet us and other parishes in our area. We organised a joint luncheon so she could come and share her story with us.

It was wonderful to meet Odette. She came and had lunch with us and she was so inspiring. She told us her story: how a group of ladies helped her through the trauma of losing her husband in the genocide and losing her home and business. These ladies helped her recover her self confidence and gave her tremendous support, getting her back into work and helping to re-house her family. They helped her children to recover too. Odette decided to join them and help other women in similar circumstances – and that is how AVEGA began.

It’s incredible how Odette helps people. When she was speaking to us about the genocide, I was thinking: “but all this happened 18 years ago” – and yet here she was talking about it as if it had happened only yesterday. That’s what we have to understand. Trauma takes a long time to get over – not one year or two…but eventually you can heal.

Even in this country there are stories of women being trafficked and abused. I think: How can the human race stoop so low? But then women like Odette – they show such courage to stand up and stand out on this issue. They are so committed to their community – even the UN has recognised their work.

It is so important to tackle sexual violence. We’re all different – some of us are rich, some are poor; some of us are outgoing, some are shy or vulnerable. But we’re not that different. There’s no excuse for anyone to be violated or taken advantage of. It’s the human race gone mad when this happens. Why do we do it – and why do we turn a blind eye to it? We wouldn’t allow this to happen to our mother, our daughter or son…why do we allow it to happen to our sisters and brothers around the world?

Everyone deserves a voice; everyone deserves respect. We’ve let people down – I feel this very strongly. We should not only help them by sending money but also by taking action – to make sure people are educated, trained and strengthened. Which is what CAFOD does – CAFOD makes sure the help and the funds reach the right people – the people who really need them.

Each year, we support the global campaign, 16 days of activism against gender violence. This year, we’re telling the story of how we can work to end sexual violence from 16 different perspectives – be it from survivors of violence, the partners who work with them, the journalists who tell their stories, or the supporters and activists who fund and publicise our work to end violence against women.

Gender violence affects all of us. Please help us to be there for women around the world. Give act and Pray with CAFOD>>

 

 

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by | December 8, 2012 · 9:00 am

16 days of activism: Marie Claire Mukagihana

Things I could never forget in my life

Dear Dad,

How are you? Even though you left us when we were still young, we know you are with our brother and we know you are praying for us. We are learning very well and we are ambitious, so we can continue your courage.

Marie Claire

Help us to continue to help women and girls like Marie Claire get their lives back on track after the unthinkable has happened. Give, Act and Pray with CAFOD today>

Marie Claire

Marie Claire

This extract is from a notebook written by Marie Claire, Liberate Mukagihana’s daughter. Her father and brother were killed in the genocide, when she was just three years old. Her mother Liberate now works for AVEGA. She says Marie Claire still suffers from trauma. Marie Claire can’t remember her father’s face but she can remember him carrying her.

Help us to continue to help women and girls like Marie Claire get their lives back on track after the unthinkable has happened. Give, Act and Pray with CAFOD today>

Each year, we support the global campaign, 16 days of activism against gender violence. This year, we’re telling the story of how we can work to end sexual violence from 16 different perspectives – be it from survivors of violence, the partners who work with them, the journalists who tell their stories, or the supporters and activists who fund and publicise our work to end violence against women.

 

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by | December 7, 2012 · 9:00 am

16 days of activism: Tanja Haque

Tanja Jarque

Tanja is CAFOD’s gender advisor. She is based in our London office but regularly visits our projects around the world to ensure gender equality is at the heart of our work.

My role as the Gender Advisor is to help staff and partners make sure gender equality is understood and addressed in our projects and programmes.

I work with the Gender Network to promote and implement CAFOD’s gender strategy. Raising awareness on issues such as gender based violence is another part of my work.

Gender violence affects all of us. Please help us to be there for women around the world. Give act and Pray with CAFOD>>
Why is this issue important? How can it not be! Gender-based violence remains one of the most widespread abuses of human rights. The facts are shocking: one in three women will be raped, beaten or abused in her lifetime. And that is worldwide. In England and Wales, for example, 2 women are killed by a partner every week. I find this really hard to believe, but acts of violence against women cause more deaths than cancer, malaria, traffic accidents and war combined. The figures keep rising. That’s why we need to keep on speaking and acting out against this.

Sadly, every time I travel I still come across stories of violence that women share with me, but I also continue to meet inspiring individuals and partners who all have the same vision: a world free of violence. And that includes having laws that protect and promote justice, and healthy and safe relationships.

We are helping women around the world rebuild their lives after violence and trauma

Whenever I think of AVEGA’s work I am deeply moved. There are so many things we can learn from them: from their rich experience of training the widows to become paralegals and agents of change in their own communities fighting for their rights; or the way they have persistently worked to hold perpetrators to account through the Gacaca courts; and their tremendous efforts to ensure the widows are supported holistically from emotional and counselling care to financial stability to knowing their rights. Let’s learn from AVEGA. Let us not be silent, let us act!

Gender violence affects all of us. Please help us to be there for women around the world. Give act and Pray with CAFOD>>

Each year, we support the global campaign, 16 days of activism against gender violence. This year, we’re telling the story of how we can work to end sexual violence from 16 different perspectives – be it from survivors of violence, the partners who work with them, the journalists who tell their stories, or the supporters and activists who fund and publicise our work to end violence against women.

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by | December 6, 2012 · 9:00 am

16 days of activism: Nicolas Ntemuanengu, CAFOD Programme Manager

Nicolas Ntemuanengu

 

Nicolas Ntemuanengu is a Programme Manager for CAFOD. He has worked closely with AVEGA East and other partners who tackle gender violence.

When I was young, I saw a girl who was raped by her uncle. This young girl had become stigmatised by the community and could no longer be among the family members. She was always alone and had lost all affection to men even her father. So she decided to end her life. It was the first time I realised how important sexual violence was as an issue – one I had to act on, not just because of what had happened to this one girl, but because of all the issues that allowed her to be treated and stigmatised in that way. Violence against women not only violates human rights, but it also hampers productivity and undermines development. Violence against women is a huge concern as a health issue, and it’s rooted in the social, economic and political inequality of women.

The impact of sexual violence in my community is first and foremost about physical and mental health. The survivors experience significant long-term physical, emotional, psychological and reproductive health problems.

Gender violence affects all of us. Please help us to be there for women around the world. Give act and Pray with CAFOD>>

But another impact is the destruction of the family. If a woman is raped by someone other than her husband, she may lose her marriage, and this will destroy the family. Children’s prospects suffer as they will no longer have means to attend school, have medical care or family care – they may become street children or be enrolled in armed group.

In my country, children have to be presented by their father to the mayor of the city in order to be recognised as citizens. So children born from a rape are not recognised as citizens until someone accepts the paternity. Sexual violence also causes conflict between families or communities. So the impact of sexual violence is also emotional and social.

CAFOD works on the ground through local partners. We use a community-based approach to combat violence against women. We work to educate the community and service providers about how to support victims in an effective, accountable way, and we support and strengthen our partners to fight against this abuse of human rights.

The first step is to train psycho-social “animators” within the community. These animators educate community members to change opinions and prejudices. They encourage women to denounce all forms of violence against them.

The second step is to reach out to victims of violence, to listen to them and report the case to AVEGA. Then they will have support in terms of counselling and psycho-social support.

Because AVEGA works with widows of genocide, the women they help often face financial problems. This is particularly true in Rwandan society where a woman’s access to resources is based on her relationships with male family members, such as father, husband or brothers. So the third step is to give the victims of violence financial security. AVEGA gives them micro loans to set up businesses to support themselves and their families.

I’ve learned from AVEGA that violence against women is a multi-pronged problem, influenced by personal, social and cultural issues. Any approach to solve this problem should acknowledge a community’s cultural and social norms, because these factors often make it difficult to prevent violence, and make it difficult for victims to receive support or get justice.

To address violence against women and provide appropriate support to victims, we have to consider the social and cultural context in which such crimes are committed, as well as the profound effect that sexual violence has on the individual and her community. The health and wellbeing of a woman cannot be divorced from the community context she lives in.

Gender violence affects all of us. Please help us to be there for women around the world. Give act and Pray with CAFOD>>

Each year, we support the global campaign, 16 days of activism against gender violence. This year, we’re telling the story of how we can work to end sexual violence from 16 different perspectives – be it from survivors of violence, the partners who work with them, the journalists who tell their stories, or the supporters and activists who fund and publicise our work to end violence against women.

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